11.17.2005

The Path to Enlightenment

Okay, so now it seems clear that my friend from the previous post still hates me. I thought things ended well, but it looks like she doesn't see it that way. I'd love to apologize and try to make things better, but I can't. I still stand by my opinion. My aunt is, once again, so right. Discernment sucks.

In other news, I have 2 large-ish papers due on Monday. Gotta love that end-of-the-semester crunch. One paper should be pretty easy, it's just an MMPI profile for one of my classmates. MMPI = Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. It detects psychos. Disappointingly, my classmate is completely well-balanced and normal. And just in case you're wondering - I know you are - I came out normal too. Finally! Proof that I'm not certifiably crazy - yet. At first, it looked like I was a bit nutty in one area, but it turns out that I'd just written the number down wrong! Math is hard!

The other paper will be a royal pain in the butt. I started it yesterday, and it became clear that I have NO IDEA how to write a paper like this. I have to critique these 6 articles I've reviewed over the semeser, but I can't critique them individually. I have to critique all the articles as a single body of information. Well, like a genius, I went out of my way over the semester to find diverse articles (more or less on the same topic, at least) with varying degrees of validity. I thought it would be great for the critique when I could compare and contrast the good research with the bad. Little did I know that the good research and the bad research would now have to be treated as a single entity. Incidentally, this single paper counts for 20% of my grade in the class. This could get interesting.

I've determined that I will draw upon the mighty powers of BS to see me through this, The Challenge of the Impossible Paper. Every good high school gifted student knows how to harness the powers of BS for papers and projects. In college, BS is further developed as an essential skill. (This is how gifted programs prepare you for college. It's not the accelerated course content. Gifted kids have a head start because they've been BSing for years!) Graduate school is at once the continuation and culmination of this training, where students are transformed into finely honed, well-oiled BS machines, before being unleashed on the world. BS is the universal lubricant.

I view this Challenge of the Impossible Paper as yet another test on my path to BS nirvana. I will not fail!