Modus Operandi

It has recently come to my attention that some people use blogs as a form of indirect comminication to their friends and associates. Typically, such bloggers will post hurtful or defamatory comments specifically directed at (usually unnamed) individuals, for the sole purpose of being read by the target individual. This is basically a way to talk smack about one's friends and get away with it, for if hurt feelings arise, the blogger can always parry with "I don't know what you're talking about. It's just my blog. And besides, I wasn't talking about you, anways."

This is immature, passive-agressive, and counter-productive. And, it's annoying. Here at Farrago, it is not "how we roll". Allow me to explain.

I view my blog as a personal journal, of sorts. I don't post a lot of juicy, personal details (sorry, pervs!) because a) it's not my nature to write about such things, and b) I am also aware that this journal is public. There is nothing in here that I don't want you to read. So, by my personal journal, I mean it contains my thoughts, opinions, frustrations, little life updates, and interesting tidbits I've found in my internet travels. Hopefully, you find it at least mildly interesting. However, I must stress that your entertainment is not my goal.

This blog is incredibly egocentric. I am allowing you to peer into my ear and see inside my head a little. In short, I write here what I want, and if you read it, great; if you don't, that's fine too. The point is that this is my space (actually, it's blogger. Hey, look! A pun!). I will never write anything directly aimed personally at you, whoever you are, as an individual or as a group. This one post is the exception to this rule. That's right, buddy, I'm talking to you. ALL of you.

Anyway, this is not a news flash. Those of you who know me know that I don't have a problem telling you what I think of you and your actions. And usually, I even wait until you ask me! For example:

Friend: Hey, I've got an idea! Maybe I'll go jump off that cliff! What do you think?
Me: Have you gone insane?!? No, don't do that. It's a bad idea.

This is my preferred method of communication. It's known as being "direct" and "honest". On the downside, it also makes me solely responsible for my statements and opinions. But I'm really okay with that. For the record, I am also okay with being solely responsible for all the things in my blog.

So, why all this clarification and ranting? I offended someone. A friend and I had a phone conversation in which she asked for my opinion/advice, and I gave it to her. And she didn't like it. She got upset that I didn't agree with and endorse her chosen course of action. (You would not BELIEVE how often this happens to me, with everyone I know....)
I got frustrated that she was making what I saw as a wildly bad decision that would end up hurting her, and there was nothing I could do about it. We discussed this, too. However, my frustration and sense of powerlessness was such that it gnawed at me all day. Hours later, I made a small comment on my blog about ME being frustrated. (I told you, this blog is egocentric!) The friend read the comment, thought I was making a veiled jab at her (I wasn't), and got hurt.
But then, she did the right thing. She confronted me about it. For this, she earns tons of maturity points and my greater respect. She was calm, rational, and frank. We discussed it like adults. No fingers were pointed, no mud was slung, and I think that overall, it was a very positive experience.

Moral of the story? My friends are great people. (Even if they don't always make great decisions. Who does?)

Bonus moral? I'm not trying to offend or hurt anyone (except Jack Thompson. I hate that guy.) in my blog. If you are not Jack Thompson, and you are hurt or offended by something I post here, or heck, anything I say or do, please talk to me about it. You won't necesarily get a complete retraction and apology (although you might), but you will almost certainly feel better for having handled the situation well, and we may come to a greater understanding of each other. And that's always good!