No Pain, No Gain.

Well, it worked! Last night, we ordered my dream dress! It's a Pronovias gown, and the style is called "Ebano". I'd post a link here, but I think it might be too tempting for a certain someone who shouldn't be looking at such things. If you're interested, you can Google "Pronovias Ebano" and find it fairly easily. If you shouldn't be looking at this dress, then don't do that.

It was suprisingly easy to convince my parents to drop over $2K on an article of clothing I will only wear once. It really is MY wedding dress, seemingly created for me, personally, to wear. I put it on, and they were both like, "You're right, that's the dress." Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

Of course, now that I've spent an obscene amount of money on the dress (but after all, it IS all about the dress, isn't it?), I need to find ways to cut costs elsewhere. This shouldn't be too hard, because I really have very few requirements for my wedding. They are:

That Max is there.
That I'm wearing my perfect dress.
That it is not in a church.
That German beer be abundant.

Yep, that's pretty much it. I don't really care about the food, the music, the flowers, the decorations, the cake, or anything like that. Obviously, I want those things to be there, but I don't have a particular "vision" for how it all needs to be. I'm not one of those brides that has to have everything "just so". And, despite the awesomeness of my designer gown, I want the ceremony/reception to be very informal and relaxed. In fact, I don't really want a ceremony as much as I want a party that I get married at. I think I should call it a "receptemony"!

But then, there's the pictures. Here's the trouble. I want to spend money on getting my hair and makeup professionally done. My reason for this is that those pictures will be around for the rest of my life, and probably long after. I've been to funerals where they showed the person's wedding pictures from 50 years ago! I want to be totally happy with them, because that's really the most lasting part of a wedding - at least, it's the most lasting thing you spend money on.

Also, I don't need 8 million wedding pictures. I do not need videography. I do not plan to wallpaper my house with photos of my wedding. I want a dozen or so awesome pictures, maybe for like a photo album or something, and that's really it. But you would be AMAZED at how hard it is to find pricing for a photography package that DOESN'T include a mountain of pictures and an epic wedding DVD.

-------Break for sleeping---------

Okay, I wrote all that stuff yesterday. I didn't finish it because of the other thing I did yesterday, which was getting my teeth whitened! I did the ZOOM! in-office tooth whitening thing, and it was pretty weird. The good thing is that my teeth really are a lot whiter now! The bad thing was that I spent most of yesterday in excruciating pain. Having your teeth whitened HURTS. A lot. I knew I was in trouble when I sat down in the dentist's chair and they gave me 4 ibuprofen to take immediately. I glanced down at my size 2 figure and said "Do you really think I'll need all of this?" And the dental hygenist said "Yes. Trust me." Thus began my saga.

To do in-office tooth whitening takes about 2 hours. Don't believe those websites that say it only takes 1 hour. The actual bleaching only takes 1 hour. But before they get to that, they polish your teeth, like they do at the end of a regular dental checkup. Then, they put SPF 30 lip gloss on you. Then, they put this large, uncomfortable plastic brace in your mouth to keep your lips and cheeks out of the way of your teeth. Then, they medically drape your mouth, like for surgery, covering everything around your mouth from your chin to the tip of your nose in a guaze sheet. Then, the shove rolls of cotton under your tongue, which is being held back away from your teeth by that plastic brace. That's the easy part of the prep work.

Once all that is done, they use a syringe to carefully cover your gums in this liquid rubber stuff. This has to be done in stages. They put the gel on part of your gums, then they make sure it's covering your gums but not your teeth, and then they use a light to harden it. Once the goo is set, they do another part of your gums. This takes a while. Of course, the whole time, I was drooling like a hungry dog, so suctioning was frequent. In case this every comes up for you, everything they use in this procedure tastes absolutely nasty.

Once your gums have been protected, they put the bleaching gel on your teeth. It's hydrogen peroxide based and smells very chemical-y. Then they give you these rockin' orange-tinted science goggles, put you directly under a strangely shaped sunlamp for your teeth, turn off the lights, and leave for 15 minutes. Then they come back, suction off the old whitening gel, apply more whitening gel, and repeat the process.

Your teeth "tan" for 3 15-minute increments. Sometimes during this process, you feel sharp, shooting pains. I was informed these are normal, but I could feel free to call for help (How? I was so rigged up, at best I might've been able to manage an inarticulate, zombie-like moan!) and we could stop at any time. I toughed it out (though it was rough going there at the very end), and they cleaned me up and sent me on my way. At first, I just felt shooting pains that passed quickly. About 3 hours after I left the dentist's office, however, I was taking 4 more ibuprofen with great skepticism re: their effectiveness. The shooting pains became constant pains which I started to classify as a sharp ache, with occasional crecendos. Fortunately, today I'm fine!