She ate my pants!

As an animal lover who is training to be a psychologist, I know a bit about animal-assisted therapy. I know that pet ownership has a lot of physical and psychological benefits, such as lowering blood pressure, for example.

After extensive empirical study, I have come to the conclusion that CATS lower blood pressure. Dogs, or at least puppies, do not in any way lower one's blood pressure. They in fact turn peaceful, animal-loving, vegetarian yoga practitioners into raving, homicidal maniacs, thirsty for blood. I told a friend earlier that I'm ready to strangle this animal with the shredded remains of my sanity.

Aunt Rhonda, I no longer feel bad about taking your money.