8.07.2005

Cheap Thrills


As the owner of four well-loved cats, I can vouch for the joys of pet ownership. Usually when people say this, they mean things like companionship, emotional attachment, "they're-just-so-darn-cute"-ness, etc. Things like personal amusement and the smug glow of victory don't often make the list. Oh, but they should.
For example, I was recently having trouble with my cats attempting to snack on some roses I had in a vase over my fireplace. The traditional methods of dissuasion (squirting the offending feline with water whilst saying "no" firmly) were not working, because posting a 24-hour guard at the vase was impractical. No, this situation called for a trap.
To assist you in understanding my diabolical scheme, I have created a visual aid, using state-of-the-art technology. Its stunning detail and unsurpassed beauty may very well blind you.
By applying clear packing tape (placed sticky side up) in roughly the vicinity of the yellow smiley, I managed to "mine" the path to the roses. I have ensnared 2 victims so far, and my trap has proven to be both effective and wildly entertaining. The racket caused by a cat with tape stuck to its back foot alerts me that: a) the trap needs to be re-armed., and b) the show just started.
I always rescue my cats from the evil tape monster. After they've spent a minute or so tearing through the living room in wide-eyed panic, frantically shaking various limbs, trying to wrest free from the invisible attacker.
Ah, the sweet smell of victory.